(check out our original post “How Sushi Are You” by clicking here… – This is where I introduce the Sushi 12!)
“So let’s see. I grew up in Scarsdale, love fashion PR and Christian Louboutin’s and definitely plan to move to New York City after college. And so now I have the toughest decision of my life. Do I want to go to school near… Detroit, Milwaukee or Indianapolis?!!” (Hmm…)
With that I introduce the first division of the Sushi 12.
The, “How on earth did I end up at one of these three completely random state schools” Division: (Michigan, Indiana, Wisconsin)
It’s a-mazing how little sense it makes that Sushi has taken over these schools.
Michigan, Indiana and Wisconsin are supposed to be the schools for local residents with wholesome American values and a passion for family, sports and religion. They are supposed to represent the American automotive industry, big open farms and cheese (not even the soy kind. Yum!)
But Sushi has made these state schools their own, and in doing so, created one of the most interesting dynamics in the world: what happens when you combine really nice people from the Midwest, with 11 people from the south, with a bunch of really good athletes, with really mean people from the east coast and LA (relatively speaking)?
Wisconsin’s claim to sushi fame is Halloween. Not one night of partying, but three. While flights to Madison between 10/29-11/2 are more expensive than a first class ticket to wherever you studied abroad (Florence, Barcelona, Paris, and Sydney are the only cities offered to Sushi 12 students) let me tell you something, it’s worth it!
Not going to visit your besties at Wisconsin for Halloween is like not watching the Oscars red carpet #SushalSuicide. It’s the Sushi networking event of the fall season. Teen tours, SAT study buddies, camp friends, COUSINS all converge.
For sushettes, Halloween takes ‘my girls are so f’ing hot’ to record setting levels. What better way to survive 30-degree weather than by wearing one of the four cold weather repellent costumes: a cat, a devil, an angel and a French maid. Eat your heart out Sammy boys! The girls and I are taking a pic with a police officer and his horse on State Street! (Private Equity Boy and 3,284 others like this)
When November 3rd comes around and all your besties return to their Sushi 12 campuses, you are sad for like 2 seconds. But then you look up and smile, throw on some leggings and some uggs and drown your sorrows on $3 Linds’ (vodka sodas) at the KK. After another a-mazing night, grab the Chi-O girls for some late night and head back to Lucky. Greatest. Apartments. Ever. Isn’t college the best?!
Sushbros have dreamed of Michigan since their first year at day camp. This is about the time that The Fab 5 (who?) changed basketball and the sole reason that Michigan became the destination for Sushbros and why Duke was kicked out of the Sushi 12.
Ok. So why would a Sushette go to Michigan?
Well, to start, half of my teen tour ended up in Theta, SDT and AE Phi…all a-mazing. But really, the one thing that makes Michigan so special is the last thing you would expect- football Saturdays. I know, it sounds weird but it’s def true.
Here’s how they work:
Step 1) Go to the M-Den, buy $50 dollars worth of clothing (thanks daddy)…and then cut it 5 different ways to make it look so f’ing hot!
Step 2) Get a bagel, drinking on an empty stomach=disaster!
Step 3) Mass-text my Lovelies- “I’ll meet you at East U and Hill.”
Step 4) Apply Michigan tattoo to your right cheek.
Step 5) Pre-game party…Sushbros fist pump to “Party in the USA,” everyone plays flip cup and if you’re lucky, three kids actually from Michigan come. There’s only beer at these things… EEK! My friend Ali solved this disaster by pretending to have a gluten allergy. #Genius. I unfortunately took the plunge… (Every sip is another minute on the elliptical.)
Step 6) Take out the camera- no Facebook album titled “Fall” holds any weight without football pregame pics.
Step 7a) It’s September, so find out from Ali what the forecast says. If it reads “Mostly Sunny” and kickoff is set for 12:00pm we’re going to the game! Go Blue! From here it’s all about getting stubbed into Section 31 where the sun hits perfectly!
Step 7b) It’s not September and so it’s 5 degrees(Yay!). So when the pregame is over, subtly sneak away, throw on your “sorority on the butt” sweats and cozy up for a movie with the girls.
So you are 50 miles to…Indianapolis
The weather is really… terrible
The sports teams are… awful
The sororities are… too far away from town
The bar that everyone hangs out is called… Sports
The brunch place that people go to on Saturday morning is called… Butch’s
Oh, and the main event of the year celebrates… A bike race (Holler Lil’ Wayne! LOL!)
So why in the name of Lo Bosworth does sushi love Indiana?
Ok, So Sports is an a-mazing bar and has one word in the name, which sounds clubby. Also people def dress like they are going out to Avenue. But this goes deeper.
Here’s my theory.
One day, about 15 years ago, a really hot girl named Jordana was sitting in her room and started doing some heavy thinking when all of a sudden a light switch turned on in her head: “Woah, Jordana rhymes with Indiana!” She asked her dad about the school and he said they had a really good business school. Jordana was in! So she started recruiting.
She called all her girls (she had a bunch and she secretly hated them all…) – Retro Regina George. Jordana was very persuasive. Before you knew it, Indiana had plucked a dream class of ‘98. Immediately, all the Sushbros started applying. They wanted in on the action.
From there, the domino’s fell. 15 years later and Indiana is the best party school in the Sushi 12!
That new Facebook app iWould is going to take over pregames at Omega and Smallwood!
“7 days a week, biatch!”
Every camp had a “Boston” bus where hordes of Newton and Needham Sushi gathered to take that magical 3-hour bus ride to “the best place on earth.” You were either on the bus, or jealous of the people that were. For some of us, this jealousy was too much to overcome. And with this, the second division of the Sushi 12 was spawned: The Camp Division.
The Camp Division: (Boston University)
To attend BU means one thing. You never truly got camp out of your system.
When your camper days ended and your parents wouldn’t let you be a camp counselor (jerks!), there was only one solution that kept you from carrying golf clubs or being a waitress/life guard at the local country club: A summer enrichment program at Boston University. This is where you first fell in love with Boston (Everyone is named Sully!)
The decision proved to be very wise. Your college advisor tells you to write an essay reflecting on your BU summer experience and how it “shaped” you to become a young adult, and before you know it, guess what: you’re going to be a Boston University _______ (No idea what their mascot is)!
So why not BU? It’s great academically and Boston is the biggest college town in America. Harvard is close and Natalie Portman and Facebook are A-mazing!
One reason is the fact that everyone outside of Boston thinks the school is made up. Doesn’t Boston University sound like a college that would be on Dawson’s Creek (ahhh, Pacey)? The only way BU could be better would be if it were called “Boston State.”
The Sushi Must at BU- After a #GnarGnar Friday night at Estate, grab the SDT girls for Saturday morning bagels at Rising …yum… Def bring a knife for scooping!
Sushal Suicide at BU – This is a tie.
1. Dating a guy from Boston -Massholes are gross and those accents are the worst… Is it really that hard to say “car?”
2. Red Socks. Everyone in this city is obsessed with them but I so don’t get it. I think they look horrible and they make my calves look fat!
Ok, so you are 22 and applying for jobs. You were at the top of your class in high school with a 3.7 in college and a-mazing extra-curricular activities (AEPhi- Social Chair, Habitat for Humanity, school newspaper). After three hours of practice interview questions you are ready for your interview. The person interviewing you is nice but scary. After a little small talk he pulls out your resume (which he has clearly never looked at) and appears confused:
“I’m sorry. I’ve never heard of your school.”
And with that I present the last division of the day:
The “I’m sure it’s a great school, but I’ve never actually heard of it” Division: (Wash U and Emory)
Wash U and Emory provide an incredible combination of tremendous academics with minimal chance of job prospects. The reason is simple: no one has ever heard of either college. Nope, Wash U is not in Washington DC and it’s not in Washington State and while yes, Emory is the name of the artsy guy from your high school, it’s also an A-mazing school in Atlanta!
You are either forced to get a job through a high school or camp friend that can vauge for you, work in Atlanta or St. Louis (Yippee!), become Justin Bieber’s manager, or most likely, attend some form of graduate school.
Yet despite this shortcoming, Wash U and Emory students manage to take their anonymous schools in random locations and give them their own little sushi twist.
Wash U students enjoy the Midwest charm of Missouri (ugh) with their personal Spicy Tuna touch. Birthday dinners at Wasabi, froYo at the loop, hitting the elliptical at Wellbridge. New York may be the best, but it can’t take away the simple joys of life.
Wash U is also the top Sushi 12 school for one of the most important Pre-Masters programs: Hosting Benefits!
The Linus Foundation is a great cause with even greater tempura and one of the more genuine accomplishments of the Sushi 12. Started at Wash U, Linus not only hosts a-mazing parties in St. Louis, but it connects sushi after college in one of the great ancient sushi traditions.
Sushi loves hosting and nothing is grander to host than a benefit. So twice a year Sushi gathers at a random loft in New York City. It’s like a frat formal for 20-somethings. For Sushbros, it’s a chance to reunite and “rage” after twelve consecutive 100-hour workweeks. For Sushettes, an excuse to dress up, showoff your new 29 year old hedge farm boy friend and “mingle.” All while supporting a genuine and A-mazing cause. Kudos Wash U.
Students love to “rep the ATL” and claim that they attend school in the South. But riddle me this.
Mississippi, Arkansas, South Carolina… Emory. Which one doesn’t fit?
See, there is the south, and there is the “Sushi South.” Beamers and Audis, Apes and AEPhi. They are def A-Mazing. But the only thing southern about Emory is that it is south of Jericho.
Emory defines convenience. The bar (Maggies) and the bagel shop (Bagel Palace) are next door. And the weather gives Emory a big edge. It’s warm enough year round to wear winter hats and scarves…
My cousin recently applied to Emory (exciting) and so I decided to help her with the application. After all the generic info there was a pledge that the school made her sign:
“Upon graduation, do you promise to attend law school in New York City.”
She did… Emory here she comes!
Follow me on Twitter HERE for updates on new posts and other goodies! See you soon with Part II of the Sushi 12… Mwah!