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How Sushi Are You: 2015

16.07.2015   LS   Uncategorized   No comments
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So much has changed in the world since the original “How Sushi are You

Gay Marriage became legal; Greece somehow ran out of money (in spite of their A-Mazing yogurt) and Birkenstocks came back!

While Sushi does not change, our lives have definitely evolved in the last 4 years. And so we decided it was time to bring a fresh new list (Broken up conveniently into two parts).

Below is a list of some things that are sushi. How sushi are you?

  1. We are still besties
  2. Who talk to our moms at least 10 times per week
  3. We live in New York or LA
  4. And if we don’t – we visit often, are slightly jeal, but swear we LOVE where we live (Insert other Major City on one of the coasts or Chicago HERE)
  5. We now speak in #hashtags
  6. @’s
  7. And Yogisms (I’m so centered!… and balanced!!!)
  8. Kk! (Soooo much easier than OK!)
  9. We’re obsessed with Netflix
  10. Farmers Markets
  11. And @TheFatJewish!
  12. Actually — we are obsessed with just about everything we even remotely like.
  13. We have mastered the “1 word sentence”
  14. Ugh/Stop/iCan’t/iDie/You/
  15. And emojis (Editor’s Note: how did people convey emotion before these existed?!)
  16. We only read in lists
  17. And have no attention spans!
  18. The most important thing in our lives is how many/who/how quickly people LIKE our Instagram pics.
  19. Followed closely by Coachella! (even though it’s 120 degrees, in the middle of the desert, and I’ve never heard of a single one of the bands!)
  20. We wear Indiana Jones hats
  21. And white Converse Chuck Taylors!
  22. While drinking Vodka Sodas and Rosé
  23. Sushbros wear J Crew checkered shirts
  24. And love IPAs or a good scotch – #refined
  25. Should we take a shot of Fireball? #AmazeBalls
  26. Our DVRs read: BRAVO (Literally every show they make), Bachelor/ette/Pad/Paradise, GOT and The Kardashians #LoveWins
  27. Cleansing replaced… eating!
  28. Organic!
  29. We are always way too busy with work
  30. Go to the doctor 5X more than the average person
  31. Have conveniently developed gluten allergies.
  32. And have no idea what a gluten is!
  33. Everything is A-mazing, fun or cute
  34. “The Best” or “The Worst”
  35. Except the word everything, is well… EVERYTHING
  36. Our phone is in our hand 99% of non-sleeping hours
  37. (While our other hand still spends the majority of its time twirling our hair)
  38. We have $500/Month juicing habits
  39. And $30 is the minimum we will spend for a workout ……………………………………………………………………………………………………….
  40. Once we hit our mid 20’s-early 30’s,  some things start to change
  41. Well not the Insta part… Insta LIKES are the heroin of the urban Millennial.
  42. One by one, your besties get engaged
  43. And then married
  44. They move to Brooklyn (so much more space!)
  45. Or the suburbs (Welp… Never seeing them again!)
  46. Unless David works for a hedge farm or in private equity (I still can’t) in which case they move to TriBeCa.
  47. Ali quits her PR job to become a Jewelry Designer/Yoga instructor/Board member of a charity #FollowYourDreams
  48. And specializes in posting inspirational quotes on Insta #Helpful
  49. Will Jacob make partner at the law firm?
  50. It doesn’t matter cause he now wants to pursue a career in Venture Capital! #DisruptiveTechnology
  51. The Skimm!
  52. Your world becomes divided by one simple question.
  53. Are you married or not married?
  54. Ali and David LOVE being married
  55. Ali gushes about how this is all she ever wanted
  56. David reminds you how much he would have KILLED IT if Tinder was around when he was single!
  57. Spending time with married friends requires a calendar invite
  58. Their lives become dinner parties, trying to set up single friends, talking about babies and going to sleep at 10PM #EXCITING
  59. Because secretly marriage provides us with an excuse not to do anything ever!
  60. Single Sushettes and Sushbros join Tinder, Hinge, Happn, Bumble and the 1,700 new knock offs
  61. Every Sushbro thinks he has the BEST idea for a new dating App
  62. We add Facebook pics exclusively to update our dating profiles
  63. Some of us are chill and meet the right person at the right time
  64. Some of us… well not so much
  65. Jordana started dating a #CFA because she thought it stood for Cute, Fun and Amazing. (Poor thing)
  66. Sheri reserved the TriBeCa grand rooftop for her wedding 18 months from now… despite not currently having a boyfriend
  67. PS – Is there a job where you can be a wedding hashtag consultant?
  68. Sushi dinners become far less regular, inconvenient (No Sarah- we are not meeting in Brooklyn Heights!!!) and with fewer participants.
  69. (Confession: While I have never been to Brooklyn, I totally love it!)
  70. Venice, WeHo or Silver Lake???
  71. New York got too expensive so I am moving to LA.
  72. LA is sooooo much chiller
  73. Uber makes everything so easy
  74. 1pm yoga classes replace… WORKING!!!
  75. And everyone from ZBT and Theta has made at least one celebrity bestie! #NeedOne
  76. Maybe I’ll move to SF and join a startup green juice delivery app!
  77. Weekend trips to Tahoe
  78. Cocaine!
  79. And then I’ll marry a really tall white guy who wears khakis and went to school in New England!
  80. But I can’t… My family, Ali and Jordana still live in New York!
  81. So it’s actually my dream to be bi-coastal
  82. Bungalow AND Surf Lodge! #TheDream
  83. You can still visit your Michigan/Wisconsin besties in Chicago (in the Summer)
  84. The people are so nice and they finally have a Soho House
  85. But it’s tough to actually live there- Brr :( Too cold!
  86. Slowly your besties have babies
  87. And in case you ever forgot – they remind you daily on Insta #Blessed
  88. And #UGH! do these pics get a ton of cheap LIKES…#JEAL
  89. They name boys after girls and girls after boys and boys and girls after made up things.
  90. Lindsay, Ali and David have been replaced by Madison, Arabella and anything that sounds like a piece of tree bark
  91. You schedule appointments 4 weeks in advance to meet Sarah and David’s Peanut named #babyhashtag at 6PM on a Saturday night – THEY’RE SO TIRED!
  92. Then you meet Ali, Ally and Allison for Sushi at Nobu, Haru, Katsuya or Sugar Fish
  93. You get too tired by midnight
  94. Because you finally have a career and are no longer dependent on the Bank of Daddy
  95. And so you go home — a 12 minute, tinder-filled, Uber ride — for which you ponder how your life became one giant right-swiping, surge pricing notification.
  96. You eat a few zero calorie, gluten free, whole grain, freely traded, locally sourced, organic rice cakes (they have no taste!!!)
  97. And then go to sleep – where you dream of adopting a puppy
  98. You then wake up early – (SO MUCH BETTER!)
  99. And immediately check your phone

FADE TO BLACK

………………………………………………………………………..

What’s Next

I decided to quit my job as a PR Account Manager to pursue my childhood dream of becoming an Instagram Consultant.

I will be writing my Instagram Manifesto

Sushi With My Girls: The Pursuit of the Perfect Angle

“The Guide to getting married by looking so F’ing hot on Instagram”

Xoxo

…………………………………………………………………………..

  • Follow us on Twitter for updates on new posts (Including the Instagram Manifesto)
  • Instagram- @SushiWMyGirls (COMING VERY SOON)
  • Email: Sushaholic@gmail.com
  • Please: Share “Sushi With My Girls!”